Greetings from Cate!Doing this work for well over forty years now, I have been saying the same things over and over to you. That’s a good thing because 1) The principle that negative thoughts create feelings, which in turn, cause you to behave badly and then set yourself up for a negative situation/circumstance has never changed in all the years I have repeated it over and over; and 2) we need to repeatedly hear/read this truth, to remind ourselves of a more conscious way to live our lives. In order to fully integrate and change our mind, taylor-made affirmations* are the key ingredient. There is an App called ThinkUp – Daily Affirmations where you can record your affirmations and loop it to hear repeatedly.

One constant phrase you will hear me say is this: Every person, place, thing, situation/circumstance or substance you encounter, is there for you to remember Who You Are. When you yell, blame, shut down, give in, you lose self-respect/self-love and lose sight of who you are. When your negative thoughts have been triggered, they undermine and override your conscious desire. But not completely. Your True Self is still fully alive because your thoughts are not YOU! So, let’s break this down. How do you remain self-aware and hold on to self-respect/self-love. How do you not get triggered?

EVERY PERSON: Be aware of your words. Hear yourself saying things like: you make me mad, you’re disrespecting me, you are hurting my feelings, you don’t care about me/understand me, you betrayed me or manipulated me. Statements like these indicate co-dependents. You are looking outside yourself to manage things totally ignoring and disrespecting yourself. That hurts so much and makes you helpless and powerless. And you lose sight of your belonging. Projecting it on to someone else is futile. Go inside and figure out the thought that has been triggered. It’s not about them being different, in order for you to be right or matter. You matter because you exist! That’s who you are!

EVERY PLACE: A house you lived in, a trip you went on, the ocean. All this can trigger good or bad memories/thoughts. If you think the ocean makes you happy, it really isn’t the ocean but your thoughts about it. If you fell in the water and about drowned once, that memory could ruin your thoughts about the ocean. Or if your romantic relationship ended abruptly in Costa Rica, you could learn to hate Costa Rica and never go back. Or you hate your home and relocate to a different house and believe me, it’s only a matter of time until you hate that house because you take your silly, negative thoughts with you wherever you go. STOP yourself. This is a place that has triggered a thought you have that gets in the way. You are worthy of having what you want. That’s who you are!

EVERY THING: Traffic, weather, money, political unrest, silence, loss – Nothing outside of you ruins your day, it’s your thought about that thing that makes you the victim. Try setting the intention (and really mean it) before you drive your car, to have smooth sailing and green lights. Or do your affirmations* at the red light instead of disrespecting yourself by blaming traffic/red lights. Or believe you have more than enough time, money. Whatever thing that has triggered a thought, is getting in the way of enjoying your day! You deserve joy in your life! That is who you are!

EVERY SITUATION/CIRCUMSTANCE: You may think you have evidence, that your particular situation/circumstance was brought upon you, but please help yourself by realizing how powerful healthy thought is. You are so powerful, you can create what you deserve by simply changing your thoughts. Your situation/circumstance will automatically change when your thought changes. The power lies within you, NOT from managing what’s outside you. You already have a felt-sense of aliveness. And that is who you are!

SUBSTANCE: And if you practice all that I have mentioned above, you will begin to feel your felt sense of aliveness. Truly experience getting high on YOU! The need for numbing and medicating your pain with substance lessons gradually as you emerge, wholly into fully belonging. And that is who you are! That’s the miracle!

You can go to the section on Handouts on my webpage and find Co-dependency as well as many others. I wish I knew the author of this profound definition of Co-dependency. There are many definitions, but this is the one I practice and suggest. *I also want to ask you how you are using the affirmations you have created? Affirmations help you sustain and fully integrate remembering who you are . . . . that’s belonging! And every one of us belongs here.

I am eager to work with you. I want what you want for yourself. Coming in person, so long as we are healthy, or setting up a Zoom/phone session works as well. I invite you to reach out with questions or to set up an appointment.

I am so grateful for all that I have. And one of many things I’m blessed with, is all the wonderful people in my life. I have our daughter, Holly who has always been a trusting companion and honorable example to follow. She is a reliable advisor and has given so much, especially this last year setting up my new LLC and in managing the bookkeeping and administrative projects all these years.

Holly’s life partner, Chris has been the living force behind all technical issues, and his genius has never ceased to amaze me. He is like a son to me. And such a descent, good man.

And speaking of good, descent men, I have Richard as my loving partner/mentor and best friend. His gentle, even-keel temperament is admired and appreciated by many. Yes, we hit bumps in the road on our journey together, and yes, it is possible for family to work successfully together.

AND, I have all of you, my dear familiar friends who strive and have the immense courage to go inward and realize that you already have the answers inside. YOU ALL ARE THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR WORLD!

There are a lot of distractions out there now. I want to remind you that every person, place, thing, experience or substance you encounter is there for you to remember who you are. And you cannot remember who you are if you are lugging around a bunch of negative, fearful thoughts. So how do we embrace the changes going on in the world and not be afraid or critical? It is, I believe, by listening to your knowing, your inner voice, your True Self within you. However, you will not be able to hear what your Essential Self has to say if you are consumed in fear thoughts.

I had an experience not too long ago walking home with my husband, Richard, from getting a morning coffee. I could see this young man ahead screaming at his cell phone and stomping around in the middle of the street. He had strung hoses across the sidewalk in front of us from his van that advertised carpet cleaning. I motioned to Richard that we ought to cross to the other side of the street to get around the equipment and him.

And then I had this feeling . . . this hunch or intuitive nudge to approach this guy who was completely dissociated from himself he was so upset. I handed Richard my coffee cup and walked towards him, “Hey bud, what’s going on?” He jerked around as if he had no idea anyone else existed. I had to reached up to put my hands on his chest. I looked in his eyes and he broke down crying as he explained he had done everything right. “I called my ex-girlfriend just like I was supposed to, right at 8:00 o’clock to talk to my little girl and she won’t let me talk to her. I have to keep my job so I can pay child support and now I don’t know what to do! I can’t live if I can’t see my little girl. She’s only two years old!!!”

This guy was at least a foot taller than me, and my husband is standing there holding two coffee cups looking a little helpless. I said, “Oh, dear heart, would you like a hug?” He sniffled and looked down at me and said, “Okay.” He put his bushy curly head down on my shoulder and I held him in the middle of the street. And then I stroked his cheek, wiping his tears, and asked, “Would you like a hug from a man?” Richard handed me the two not-so-hot coffee’s and held this big, very tall “little boy” in his arms. A moment or two of kindness . . . . of connection.

And, it would not have happened if I/we were afraid or had labeled this dear young man as dangerous or high on drugs, etc. None of that entered my mind because I listened to my Authentic Self and was led by my inner knowing. And I know, my True Self would have told me if he was dangerous. Before we left, I said; “And I want you to remember this. That no matter what happens, YOU are worthy of having what you want.” I don’t know what became of that young man, but I did tell him to call every lawyer in town and ask if they did pro bono work. He needed a lawyer to help him.

So, I am suggesting that with all the things out there that can distract or scare you, remember that who you are is powerful beyond measure. Be kind and respectful to yourself and you will organically and naturally be kind to others. It is the loving thing . . . because WE ARE THE DIFFERENCE IN OUR WORLD.

Enjoy your holidays however you choose to spend them. I am looking forward to seeing you in the new year and I intend to keep working in 2025. Oh, by the way, as far as the cancer I told you about. I am in remission!! Feel free to ask for details if you want to know what I did to help myself through the past two and one-half years since diagnosis. I certainly had to practice what I preach.

Enormous love out there for you,

Cate

I thoroughly enjoy walking with you and feel honored and privileged to be invited into your life, in your most vulnerable times, in times of pain, and sharing in your joy. While working with you, I can see the changes on your face and in your energy from session to session. I am proud of you and humbled by the dedication you have in changing your life and reclaiming who you are. It takes courage to trust the process of this work even if you don’t quite yet believe you have the power to change. When first starting this work, people often say “I don’t know what I want”. And they soon find out that if they don’t know what they want, then likely they won’t trust that the Universe (or whatever you call that vast undefined creative force/source) will hear you or respond. Then you are reminded by me that you are not defined by any fear thought you may have. And I will remind you as many times as it takes that YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOU!

I love the poem “Disiderata” by Max Ehrmann. Within it are the words “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars….” That makes you pretty awesome. One of my friends sent me an email with a quote from author Jean Houston, “We don’t just live in the universe, the universe lives in us.” I believe your Soul lives in you; you live in your Soul, and it loves you and protects you constantly with the universal creative source of pure love. There really is no separation from the Soul or us or the universal source. Your Soul chose YOU! That makes you pretty special! Another wonderful friend reminded me that the universe is a co-conspirator with us … for nothing but good. I happen to think the dictionary misspelled the word. It should be co-con(spirit)or. 😊

One of the lessons I am learning after being diagnosed with cancer is that since my Soul did choose me, I want to fully surrender to it and allow life to flow in and around me freely, regardless of cancer. I owe it to my Soul to join in and embrace whatever I am experiencing and meant to learn from cancer; and trust completely that all things work well for good. I’m feeling really healthy and my oncologist agrees that I have no need to take any medications.

It is brave to walk into the unknown. Please trust that within the unknown space, possibilities for amazing miracles are born. You are that possibility. There are no exceptions to this. It is your birth right! Your past history does not define you. I want you to know I am here and continuing to walk with you. You are my friends, my community, and I keep growing and learning more about myself, just from some little thing you may have said or done. You are so wonderfully wise!! I would love to hear from you so, please contact me to set up an appointment, or just to say hi. I prefer not to text because I love to hear your voice.

There is enormous love out there…. breathe it in as you say, “I have a right to be here!”